Points of No Return
by Eirist
Summary: Because sometimes craziness hits you at equally crazy moments and turning back from this point on is physically, emotionally and dangerously impossible. A Zoro x Nami collection of scribbles and drabbles or any less than a thousand and five hundred words. 10 - "Happy Birthday witch."
1. Storm Incoming

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **T

**Note: **Anything less than a thousand words scribble goes to this collection. I'll consider this as breathers before I actually turn my attention to something longer. It just needs to get out of my system before I explode or before Oda decides to wreck my ship.

**Summary: **Because sometimes craziness hits you at equally crazy moments.

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**1: Storm Incoming**

* * *

Lightning flickered from the far distance.

A huge mass of slate gray clouds started rolling towards the direction of the quietly anchored ship. The wind picked up, blowing towards the unfurled sails making the mast creak at its force.

Thunder rumbled overheard, prompting all the ship's occupants to momentarily stop whatever they are currently doing.

At the shout of 'storm' and 'Nami' from the crow's nest, the crew was moving in less than a second. Sounds of rushing footsteps and doors banging open or close came from all parts of the ship.

Nami was already making her way towards the prow barking orders all the way.

"Luffy, Sanji-kun the sails!"

"Gotcha Nami!"

"Hai, Nami-_swaaan_!"

"Franky, we're gonna be hit by the storm in 30 seconds tops. Ready the coup de burst!"

"Aaw, I'm on it!"

"Robin, we might need another set of hands on the ship's wheel."

"I'll take care of it Nami."

"Usopp! Tie down anything we don't want flying and hitting us!"

"Noted Nami!"

"Chopper! Brook! Stay put you idiots and no jumping out into the sea to save anyone!"

"Yohoho! Of course Nami-_san_."

"Yes, Nami."

"Zoro!"

"What?"

"Kiss me."

"Huh?!"

The swordsman stared at her dumbfounded, one good eye widening. Around them the whole crew was frozen from shock.

Nami swallowed a lump that formed in her throat.

What. Did. She. Just. Say?!

Nobody spoke. Nobody even dared to breathe. The wind howled loudly but no one dared to move.

Zoro took a step back just as Nami did. They continued staring at each other with wide eyes.

Nami's lips quivered. Oh shit. Oh shit!

Then Zoro turned away, making a clicking sound with his tongue.

"Later woman, let's get out of this storm first."

And Nami's face blushed a good shade of red as the rest of the _Mugiwaras_ gaped at them.

* * *

_**\- The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_

Make me happy. Keep me inspired.


	2. Myth Debunked

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **T

**Note: **Somehow, I had fun writing this.

**Summary: ** _A kiss won't make your heart skip or stop._

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**2: Myth Debunked**

* * *

"Ok get this," Usopp suddenly spoke slapping a hand on top of the book that he was reading. "Did you know that when you sneeze your heart actually stops?"

Nami stopped trimming her _mikan_ trees and glanced at him with a skeptic look. "Don't you think it's more like it skips a beat?"

"Nuh-uh."

"So it's like you die when you sneeze?"

"Uh…"

"Well…" Chopper decided to join the conversation. He stopped grinding the herbs for the medicine he was making. "That's a misconception. The heart doesn't actually stop or skip a beat. What happens is –"

"Wait! Hold up!" Usopp raised a hand to stop him. "None of that medical stuff that I can't really wrap around my head."

"Eh? But—"

A loud yawn interrupted them and they shifted their gazes to where their swordsman was lounging under the shade of Nami's trees. "Sneezing are for wusses," Zoro lazily announced before yawning again.

"Nobody asked you!" Nami scowled and kicked his leg.

"Sneezing means sick Nami," Zoro scoffed at her. "Only wusses gets sick."

"Sneezing is a normal body reflex Zoro," Chopper's voice cut through their conversation. "It doesn't automatically mean that you are sick when you sneeze." He inwardly sighed. Maybe he should really start making a medicine for idiots…

"So Robin's story has no merit huh?" Usopp pursed his lips thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" The doctor asked.

"Is that where this is coming from Usopp?" Nami was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Robin's tall tales of quixotism?"

"Oh you mean those romantic shits Usopp absolutely likes?" Zoro questioned with a smirk.

"Shut up! They're sweet and you're a brute!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"I refused to be judged like I'm the only one who adores her stories! I can see all of you listening to it!"

"I don't listen, I sleep." Zoro corrected him. "I have no interest in those kind of stories."

"You have 206 bones in your body and not one of them is romantic?" Usopp muttered sarcastically. "Gee, what did you do to deserve that?"

"Shut up!"

"So…" Chopper looked thoughtful. "What does sneezing have to do with Robin's story?"

"Usopp is trying to find out the possible moments that can make the heart stop or skip a beat." Nami explained, stepping over Zoro's leg as he frowned at her.

"Oh, I see." Chopper tilted his head slightly. "Are you referring to story she told us last night? About the two adventurers who fell in love?"

"That."

"Hnn… So Robin finally ran out of creepy tales to tell?" Zoro snickered.

"Not really. It's just for variety's sake she says," Nami answered. "Well the thing is Usopp seems to be hooked with the kissing scene."

"I'm not!" Usopp slapped a hand on his knee. "I'm just curious! Are you not? Are you even listening to her stories?"

"I don't even know why I'm listening to all of this," Zoro sighed. He definitely chose the wrong place to nap.

"The hero and heroine of the story kissed and their hearts stopped and skipped a beat. Heck, even the whole world stops while they are doing it!"

"And you are bothered because…?" Nami prompted.

"Not bothered. Curious!"

"About?"

"He is curious if a kiss can really have that effect." Zoro was grinning wickedly at him.

Usopp turned red at that.

"Oh," Chopper blushed when he realized where they are getting at.

"Usopp," Nami intoned. "You are way over your head."

"That's more of an idiom than anything else Usopp," Chopper explained. "There is no way it's medically possible for a heart to skip a beat. Stop, yes. But that'll only happen when you are dead."

"Way to debunk it Chopper," Usopp said sullenly.

"Well maybe you'll just have to wait and find out for yourself Usopp," Nami winked at him. "You know try to kiss a girl or something?"

This time Usopp turned a deeper shade of red. "I… I… don't…"

"That's stupid Usopp," Zoro said with a huff. "A kiss won't make your heart skip or stop."

"So says the swordsman with no romantic bone in his body," Nami rolled her eyes at Zoro. "Maybe we should give it a try?"

She suddenly leaned towards him and promptly kissed his lips.

Usopp and Chopper squeaked, gawked and blushed at the display.

Nami pulled away with a triumphant grin on her face. "But yeah you are right Zoro. No skip or stop."

The swordsman was staring at her in shock, not moving at all.

Usopp cleared his throat. "I beg to differ. I think his heart stopped."

"Kyaaah!" Chopper suddenly shouted. "Somebody call a doctor!"

The sniper eyed Nami warily.

"Debunked," Nami mouthed cheekily at him.

Chopper was still shouting for a doctor and Zoro was still not moving.

"Quick Nami just zap him with lightning!"

* * *

_**\- The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_


	3. Treasures Untold

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **T

**Note: **For _**moi**_. This is even more fun to write. I hope the Nami here is flustered enough.

**Summary: **_You said pick anything right?_

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**3: Treasures Untold**

* * *

"Ok!" Nami clapped her hands twice to get her _nakama_'s attention. "That ended very well. _Extremely_ well. Straw Hats we are RICH!" She screamed as she hugged one of the big treasure sacks resting in all its glory on the lawn of the Sunny.

"That is a LOT!" Usopp's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets when he saw the three huge sacks, filled-to-the-brim with treasures of different shapes and sizes.

"Yohoho!" Brook laughed as he walked past behind Usopp. "It's almost blinding even if I have no eyes to s—"

"That is so much more than what we got from Thriller Bark," Franky interrupted the skull joke, raising his sunglasses in astonishment. "Nice Nami!" He gave her a thumbs up.

"Wooooaaah! That is even better than the treasures in Fishman Island!" Luffy yelled, staring at the sacks in amazement.

Nami suddenly swiveled her head towards her captain who promptly shut his mouth when he saw her death glare. Oops.

"_Aho_," Zoro muttered beside him. "Do not remind her."

Luffy slowly edged away from the navigator's reach. Just in case.

"How did you manage to bring all of that here Nami?" Robin gazed at the sacks in wonder.

The navigator grinned and said with a wink, "I have employed the services of a hunky but surly swordsman."

"I see."

"Employed my ass," Zoro scoffed. "Like you'll really pay me you stingy _onna_."

"Oi moss-head," Sanji glared at him. "How dare you mock Nami-_san_! You should be grateful she's even giving you a chance to serve her."

"Serve?"

"Ah my Nami-_swan_!" The cook ignored him. "You should have told me you needed a man-servant for today! Your prince would gladly—"

"Disgraceful."

"What did you say?!"

"Enough of that!" Nami's voice thundered across the lawn, making Chopper jump onto Usopp's arms. "Time to divide the loot!" She turned to Zoro. "Don't worry I'll make sure your efforts are rightfully compensated."

"Oh really?"

Nami was smiling broadly. "Really!" She was practically glowing—no shining—from too much happiness.

"So bright…" Chopper whispered and Usopp nodded.

"Since you helped hauled all of these without pissing me off or bitching about it, I think a reward is in order."

Sanji's cigarette almost fell from his lips. "Reward?"

"Of course!"

"Reward?" This time it as Zoro who said it.

"What? I am generous regardless of what you keep saying."

The other Straw Hats looked at each other in disbelief.

"_Kami_, she must've hit her head or something."

"I heard that Usopp."

A squeak came from the sniper's direction.

"What kind of reward?" Zoro could not stop himself from asking. "No don't tell me. You'll deduct a certain shitty percent from my damned debt that you'll eventually retrieve by charging me again over something I will do or will not do for you?"

"Spot on, but not really. Since you did all the work with the treasure hauling, I figured I can let you pick anything you like! On top of your share of loot." She was beaming at him while explaining.

This time the Straw Hats looked at each other nervously. Even Zoro looked uneasy.

"Zoroooo," Usopp whispered-called. "Do not fall for her tricks! It's a trap!"

"Zorooo did you bring back another Nami?" Luffy whispered from the other side. "I'm pretty sure this one is not ours!"

A vein popped on the navigator's forehead.

"Quick Sanji! Sniff her! Find out if she's the real one!"

"I am not a dog you shitty sniper!" Sanji retorted. But hearts suddenly appeared around him when he turned to Nami. "But I'll gladly…"

"Try and die Sanji-_kun_."

"But…"

"That's it!" Nami stomped a foot on the lawn deck. "Zoro just go and pick your reward! Let's get this over with."

"Alright," he was looking at her skeptically. "Anything right?"

"Right."

Zoro studied the treasure sacks filled to the brim with all kinds of golds and jewels.

Nami impatiently tapped her feet. "Well?"

The swordsman started to approach one of the bags, seemingly coming to a decision.

Then suddenly he made a beeline towards Nami and promptly grabbed the navigator at the waist, throwing her over his shoulder.

"Zoro! What the hell?!" She screeched, trying to look at him from her position. "What are you doing?!"

"Getting my reward. You said pick anything right?"

"Wha—whaaaat?"

She can hear Robin giggling softly in the background along with Franky's shout of 'super' and Brook's 'yohohoho' laughter.

"_Marimooooooo_!"

* * *

_**\- The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_

_**And Happy Birthday senchou!**_


	4. Bath Bomb

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **M (Blatantly Suggestive)

**Note: **I'm totally into Usopp plus awkward situations and realizations.

**Summary: ** _Everything suddenly clicked into place. The reason why he kept running into the swordsman in the bath house._

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**4: Bath Bomb**

* * *

It was Usopp who first noticed the change in the swordsman's routine.

With a hand poised to turn the bath house's doorknob, the sniper jolted in surprise when the door suddenly opened.

"Uhm, Zoro?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you here?"

Said man fixed him with a stare that made his blood run cold. "What do you mean why am I here?"

"Uh… this isn't your usual bath schedule… right?"

Zoro frowned as he stopped drying his hair, draping his towel around his neck.

And Usopp continued staring at him, waiting for an explanation of sorts. There are times when curiosity gets the better of the cat… even if the cat gets killed.

The green-haired lad muttered an annoyed 'tsk' before answering, "It's kinda hot tonight."

Usopp nodded. Well… they were anchored in the coast of a summer island after all.

"All yours," Zoro tilted his head towards the bathroom before walking away leaving Usopp staring at him quizzically.

* * *

Three days after that encounter he ran into Zoro again.

Usopp frowned. Didn't he bump into the swordsman just a few days ago?

"Uhm, Zoro?"

"Huh?"

The sniper raised an eyebrow at him. "You are here again?"

Zoro frowned at that. "What? I can't use the bath now?"

Usopp cringed at his tone. "That's not what I meant!" He waved both of his hands apologetically. "But this isn't…"

The tall lad fixed him with a glare.

And Usopp got the underlying message immediately. "Right. Do carry on," he said with a weak laugh, scratching his head. He stepped aside to let the swordsman pass, before Zoro gets in an irritable mood.

Enies Lobby is still fresh in his mind even after two years.

Besides, who cares about the crew's bathing schedule anyway?

* * *

Except that it is really _bothering_ him.

He knows Zoro couldn't care less if he were downright sweaty or dirty. The crew already came to terms with his ridiculous once a week bath schedule along with Luffy and Brook.

But Brook's a freaking skeleton for _Kami_'s sake!

This shouldn't be troubling him too much. Zoro decided to live his life a bit cleaner than before. That should be good and hooray for that.

But something in it is really off.

Zoro has a pretty predictable routine. And this new habit of his just doesn't fit his daily life.

Usopp's sharp eyes followed the swordsman as he entered the galley to get a glass of water. Looks like he just finished working out, given the sweat glistening on his body and the fact that he is walking around Sanji's turf half-naked.

Looks like there is a chance of running into him in the bath again. From what he surmised Zoro now has a similar bathing schedule to the three cleanest persons on the ship.

Usopp casually flicked a glance at Chopper and Nami who seemed to be fighting about something.

"Nami! It can be an insect bite! Remember Kestia?"

"Stop fretting Chopper. It's nothing!"

"Cannot! Let me see that!"

A groan came from Nami. "It will eventually disappear just like the other ones before."

"You've been consistently getting them," Franky interjected. "Maybe there IS an insect in the girls' room?"

Chopper frowned. "But Robin doesn't have any. Just Nami."

"Maybe the insect only likes biting Nami?" Robin commented cheekily.

Nami frowned at her.

"Maybe she just need to clean their room," Zoro drawled. "Change the sheets or something?"

The navigator stared daggers at him. "I don't wanna hear that coming from you Zoro!"

"Hey maybe we need to do a cleanup?" Franky suggested. "That way we can check what's causing it?"

Everyone except Robin groaned. Nobody likes cleanups it can be a real pain in the ass.

"That's not necessary," Nami retorted. "Whatever it is I'm sure it will eventually stop biting me."

Usopp noted how she threw Zoro a scathing look, while the swordsman merely raised an eyebrow at her.

"Hmm, I doubt that." Robin murmured, not taking her eyes off her book.

* * *

"I told you to stop it!"

Usopp froze midway to his branch office. That was Nami and her voice came from the library.

He crept closer to check. Everyone was supposed to be sleeping except him, the night watchman.

"They are noticing it already Zoro!"

_Huh? Zoro?_

"Maybe if you stop wearing revealing tops, they wouldn't."

"Maybe if you stop with the bite marks, they wouldn't!"

"Oh? I thought you like it when I do that?"

"Mmm… I do. Just not where everyone can see."

"I think I can find secret places to put 'em."

Usopp's stood in front of the library door, brain racing a mile per minute.

_Maybe the insect only likes biting her. _Robin's voice echoed inside his head.

There was a moan and a low grunt and the unmistakable sound of bodies dropping down the library's bench or floor… probably.

Everything suddenly clicked into place. The reason why he kept running into the swordsman in the bath house.

And just like that Usopp high-tailed it out of there before he hears and sees more than he should.

* * *

The next time he ran into Zoro again. He did not say a word.

He merely nodded in acknowledgement and that earned him a frown from the tall lad.

"Problem Usopp?"

Usopp raised his hands in mock-surrender. "N-n-none," his eyes darted back and forth nervously.

Zoro studied him for a few seconds. "Weather's too hot," he mumbled suddenly, walking past the sniper.

_Weather's too hot._ Usopp thought. _Huh._

"All yours," Zoro nodded towards the bath house.

And before Usopp can stop his big, stupid mouth he blurted out…

"Guess no baths no sex huh?"

* * *

_**\- The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_


	5. Noise Barrage

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **T (Mawkish)

**Note: **I like the idea of the swordsman experiencing something normal. We've been hyping about his monstrous strength and abnormality too much.

**Summary: ** _Tell the cook to stop whining._

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**5: Noise Barrage**

* * *

He has a headache.

Not that he would admit it. He was, after all, not one to complain about any physical pain.

But damn, he is human. He does succumb to one every now and then.

And it put him in a rather 'sensitive' mood as Usopp phrased.

That long-nose sniper will get it later.

He'd go with Robin's description any time. Temperamental sounds much better.

That's why he holed himself up in the crow's nest under the guise of 'meditating' so no stupid crewmate will disturb him.

For thirty minutes he'd been trying to catch a wink. But sleep seemed elusive. Which is rare considering that he can sleep anytime, anywhere.

His headache was increasing by the hour, but he refrained from asking any medicine from Chopper. He did survive those instances where he suffered from it before. Why start taking one now?

His forehead creased in annoyance. He was more pissed with the fact that the headache was damn irritating rather than painful and stopping him from doing any of his normal activity.

Maybe it's from alcohol depletion? That stupid cook put a temporary ban on their liquor supply since it was dwindling down and as they were nowhere near any island (as per Nami's charts), there's no saying when they can restock.

Stupid swirly brows.

Something touched his forehead, making the crease disappear as he inhaled the familiar scent of _mikans_.

He slowly opened an eye and stared questioningly at the face hovering just above him.

"Hey," Nami said brushing another kiss on his forehead. "You alright?"

He managed a small smile before closing his eye again. "Your smell is soothing."

He heard her giggle. "I brought you _sake_," she whispered conspiratorially. She must've nicked one for him, hopefully right under that _ero_-cook's stupid nose.

"You're heaven sent."

There was a giggle again before her lips touched his for a light kiss. "If that still doesn't make you feel better, go see Chopper later alright?"

"No promises."

"Girlfriend's order!"

He opened his eye again to look at her. He was about to utter a protest but Nami beat him.

"Or I'll tell Chopper what's up and send him here to look at you," she added the threat knowing how obstinate he can be. She left a quick kiss on his cheek before standing up and exiting the crow's nest.

* * *

The moment he opened the galley door, his headache worsened from the sound of dinner chaos.

The _sake_ did wonders and it helped put him to sleep. But neither it nor the nap did anything for his headache.

And since he was ordered and threatened with the use of the terms 'girlfriend' and 'Chopper' respectively, he forced himself to climb down the nest to finally seek proper medical treatment.

Before Nami decides to give him her own.

He trudged inside to grab some dinner first. Choruses of 'Zoro!' greeted him, making his head pound harder than before.

"Oi Zoro!" His captain shouted, his happy voice making his ears ring. "Dinner time! Let's eat! Let's eat!"

His chant was joined by the Usopp, Franky and Brook and it took all of Zoro's willpower not to unsheathe his swords and _Tatsumaki_ their sorry asses.

"Zoro," Robin called calmly. She politely nudged a plate in front of the vacant seat beside her, nodding at him to sit down beside her. Far from the mayhem.

Thank heavens; he had at least one _nakama_ who have a LOT of sense in her.

"Where's..." he started to ask the but was interrupted by Franky's holler of 'aw' and 'super' while shaking his hips.

He just sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose. Good grief.

"Are you ok Zoro?" Chopper asked, sensing that something was off with the swordsman the moment he entered the galley.

"I—"

"Ah my Nami-_swaan_!" Sanji suddenly, very loudly crooned out of nowhere.

He exhaled sharply. All the noise around him was making him feel like somebody was beating his head with _taiko bachi_-s.

"Let me get that for you my love!" Sanji offered, grabbing the tray the navigator was holding.

"Err… thanks Sanji-_kun_."

"Where do you want me to bring this tea my sweet?"

Nami smiled. "Give it to Zoro, Sanji-_kun_."

"Eh?"

"You heard me," the navigator's smile widened as she emerged from the kitchen to take a seat beside Zoro.

Sanji followed suit, a bit shocked. He initially thought the navigator was preparing the tea for herself.

_It was for the third rate swordsman?_

Fuming and with hands trembling, he set the tray down in front of Zoro.

Despite his headache, Zoro found it amusing. "Thanks, cook." He smirked at the blond chef who was gritting his teeth.

"I hope you scald your tongue you bastard."

Ignoring Sanji, he took the cup to drink the tea Nami had so graciously made for him.

"I hope it burns your throat you damn muscle head."

Zoro just zoned him out. One thing worse than the noises created by his crewmates…

…was the sound of swirly brows bellyaching and grating his nerves.

And he did not want to handle any of that right now damn it.

"And while you are at it, I hope you choke on it you shitty swordsman! HOW DARE YOU OBLIGE NAMI-_SAN_ TO—"

He was cut off by the sound of the tea cup banging on the table.

The rest of the crew stopped their antics when they realized another Zoro-Sanji fight was about to ensue.

The two-thirds of the Monster Trio glared at each other threateningly.

Then Zoro deliberately looked away and nonchalantly dropped his forehead on Nami's shoulder.

"Tell the cook to stop whining."

Everyone—save for Robin—stared at them. Sanji had his mouth hanging open.

"Sanji-_kun_, stop it." Nami _surprisingly _requested, placing a hand on Zoro's head _affectionately_.

Now the noise of almost everyone choking from astonishment was good enough to alleviate his headache just a bit.

But even better was the sound of the cook wailing.

* * *

_**\- The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_

I have a penchant for surprised _Mugiwaras_.


	6. Captain's Order

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **T

**Note: **This is all for the sake of fun and craziness.

**Summary: ** _"Well, you can always order them captain."_

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**6: Captain's Order**

* * *

"We are gathered here today…" Luffy intoned.

"Gathered for what?" Zoro's face was scrunched up in a frown while looking at his captain questioningly.

Luffy paused at the intrusion and cleared his throat. "Ehem! We are gathered here today..."

"I'll repeat Zoro's question," this time it was Nami who cut him off. "Gathered for what exactly?"

A pout appeared on captain's face, though he chose to ignore the questions.

"We are gathered here today…" he uttered one more time, loudly and clearly. "Uhm…"

"To bear witness _senchou_-_san_," a voice—obviously Robin's—interjected with a chuckle. A flurry of pink petals flew around them indicating that she was nowhere near but _is_ currently keeping an eye (and mouth) on them.

"Ah right!" Luffy's expression brightened at the reminder. "We are gathered here today, to bear witness,"

"Bear witness to what?!" Nami looked bewildered.

Zoro was just as confused. "What are we supposed to witness?" He glanced at Nami who shrugged.

"Is this some sort of a meeting, Luffy? Should we call the others?"

"Uh no!"

Zoro and Nami exchanged puzzled glances.

"Tch. Why did you call us out here Luffy?" Zoro asked his tone impatient. Luffy had pestered him to come to the upper deck and from the look on Nami's face, he probably did the same with her. "You're not pulling one of your stupid pranks on us are you?"

Luffy's eyes widened and he waved his arms in defense. "NO! NO!"

"Then why are we here?!" Nami's voice was like the calm before the storm and it actually sent shivers down the two Supernovas' spines.

"Luffy..." there was warning in Zoro's tone. He decided he better clear things up before the navigator decides to beat the living shit out of the young man.

And Luffy gulped. He maybe the captain but damn if his two oldest _nakama_ cannot scare the shit out of him... especially Nami.

Said woman was already cracking her knuckles.

"Because as captain I _can_ marry you two!" He shouted.

Silence.

"_WHAT?!_"

It sounded so much like an explosion that some of Straw Hats scurried out of their respective rooms-slash-hiding places.

But seeing that it was only their captain, swordsman and navigator in the upper deck; they all decided to shrug it off.

"Where the hell did you get that idea?!" Zoro all but roared.

At the same time Nami was shrieking, "Marry? US?! Are you out of your fucking mind Luffy?"

They both looked livid and in for the kill that Luffy backed away from them.

Robin had told him that as captain he CAN perform marriage ceremonies.

And she also said that when two persons liked each other, they eventually marry each other.

Just like in the tale she told them last night.

"Luffy," Zoro growled, thumbing one of his swords out of its sheath. "You have one minute to explain or I'll be coating _Kitetsu_ with your blood."

"No," Nami snarled, pulling out her sorcery Clima-tact. "He has less than a minute."

Luffy jumped away from them. "But... but when people like each other. They marry each other."

"Where did you even get that idea?!" Zoro bellowed.

"I think I know where..." Nami muttered lowly, looking pointedly at the archeologist, who was reading and sunbathing at the lawn deck. It was probably from one of Robin's tall tales.

"Tch! That gloomy woman…" Zoro grumbled under his breath.

"But why US?" Nami hissed at Luffy, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You… you both said you like each other."

Zoro and Nami drew back, brows furrowing before glancing at each other, perplexed.

"Huh?"

"You both told me," Luffy innocently, very honestly said. "You like each other."

Eyes widened at what the rubber man casually dropped.

"LUFFY!" They both screamed in unison. "YOU TOLD ON ME?!"

The swordsman and navigator turned to each other, mirroring each other's shocked expression.

Luffy only laughed sheepishly. "Uhh..._shishishi_".

"It was supposed to be a secret!" Nami cried out.

"I specifically told you not to say anything about it!" Zoro said at the same time, a vein popping visibly on his forehead.

"_Wari, wari._" Luffy shoved a finger inside his nose. Then he grinned, ever oblivious to the chaos that he just unleashed. "So can I now marry you guys?"

"NO!" They simultaneously answered and both flushed red when their eyes met.

Luffy looked crestfallen. "But…"

"So this is where things start being awkward," Nami inhaled sharply, glaring daggers at Luffy.

"Yeah. No thanks to our _aho sencho_," Zoro muttered darkly. "He just went and ruined it all."

Their captain is really a certified idiot. Through and through.

But there's no going back from this. And they both know it. Thanks to Luffy and his big rubber mouth.

Nami and Zoro's eyes met and both promptly averted their gazes in embarrassment.

"Whatever happened to leaving it to luck? Or fate?" Zoro groused, scratching the back of his head as Nami sighed in resignation.

Robin suddenly appeared on the deck. "How are things?"

"_Oi_ Robin! You said I can marry them!" Luffy complained.

"Yes you can _senchou-san_. But we still have to consider if they want it or not." Robin responded glancing at the swordsman and the navigator.

Luffy whined in disappointment. "They're saying no. Even if they both told me that they like each other."

"Well…"

"Stop putting ideas into his head, Robin." Nami chastised.

"This is all your fault," Zoro muttered.

Robin smiled cheekily at them.

"Well, you can always order them captain."

Luffy's whole face lit up at that idea.

* * *

_**\- The End –**_

* * *

Robin's tall tales of quixotism are back again creating havoc along with Luffy's whim.

_**R and R please. **_


	7. One-Upped

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: T**

**Note: **This crossed my mind while eating lunch earlier. And I'm surprised I was able to finish writing it the outline on my phone while munching.

**Summary: ** _"You better kiss the boo-boo away Zoro."_

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**7 : One-Upped**

* * *

Nami brought down the newspaper she was reading on her lap, lips jutting out in a pinkish, exasperated pout.

A snore thundered from across the other side of deck and she sharply flicked her gaze at the source.

The idiot swordsman was snoozing for the umpteenth time against the Sunny's railing.

Another snore came from him and Nami felt a nerve twitching on her forehead from irritation.

That's the third fucking time and she can only take so much.

Standing up from her deck chair she marched towards the slumbering man.

She pondered on whether she would punch him awake or just screech at his ear—she knows how much he hates that.

With one hand fisted, she stood in front of her still dead-to-the-world _nakama_.

Nami took a deep breath, mustering the strength to hit him with enough force to knock his non-existent brains out.

Or miraculously correct his busted inner compass.

Then she paused.

Because Zoro immediately stopped snoring the moment she near him.

Nami blinked. Earlier he was sleeping with mouth wide open, snoring like a pig…

And now…

Now he seemed to settle back more comfortably, the features of his face softening as his head dipped on one side. His eye was still closed… his breathing even.

He was still asleep.

Did he… felt her presence or something like that?

_Haki?_ She thought, glancing at her hand. If that's the case then it's futile to whack him awake.

Nami studied him for a moment. He looked like he was still deep in his sleep.

She crouched down beside him and cheekily poked his cheek.

When she did not receive any reaction, she repeated it again.

She watched his brows furrowed as he stirred to wakefulness.

Nami grinned. One more poke and she's absolutely sure he will be shouting bloody murder at her for disturbing him.

Well… as long as she annoys him then she'd call it even. He did irritate her earlier with all his uncouth snoring.

Her finger pressed into his cheek again.

Zoro turned his head towards her direction, one eye still close with a deep frown on his face...

And surprisingly clamped his mouth around her finger, sinking his teeth lightly on the soft flesh of her digit.

Nami shrieked. And Zoro's eye flew wide open. They stared at each other in shock before Nami tugged her finger...

... or tried to.

Good grief! Zoro just bit her finger with the same teeth that he uses to hold one of his swords!

Panicking, she tried to wiggle it to see if he hadn't severed it. Her face heat up when the tip of her finger grazed his warm, wet tongue.

Good heavens. What is that burning sensation racing across her arm to her face?

"Damn it Zoro! Let go!"

Zoro was too flustered to react. He honestly thought it was Usopp or Luffy, out to disturb his sleep again just like they always liked to do.

But Nami?

His eye looked down on the finger in his mouth. His face turning to ten different shades of red.

"Ouch! Zoro let go!" Nami cried out again and that snapped him out of his stupor.

He immediately released her finger, scooting back as far as the Sunny's railing would let him.

"I-I-I thought you were Luffy! Or Usopp!" He blurted out.

Nami glared at him. "Why would you think that?!" She snarled and looked at her finger, now slightly coated with his saliva. "Eeeww. Gross Zoro!" She looked pained and about to cry.

"Are you alright?" Zoro reluctantly scooted closer. "Did I... bit you hard?" He didn't know why in the seven seas that supposedly innocent question made his face heat up more.

Nami stared at him, cradling her abused finger in one hand, her face turning as red as Zoro's.

"Of course not you idiot. You nearly bit off my finger!"

"Lemme see!"

"No!" Nami quickly stood up and ran towards the toilet under the stairs, slamming the door shut.

Inside Nami turned the tap on and placed her finger under the running water. _Kami_ knows what Zoro puts in his dumb mouth. She closed the faucet and studied her finger. His teeth marks still remained embedded on her skin.

A vague image of him leaving them in other more delectable parts of her body suddenly crossed her mind.

Fuck. She cursed and opened the faucet again, letting the water pour down on her finger as she rubbed it hard. What was that?! Damn Zoro! This is his fault!

There was a knock on the door.

"Nami?"

"WHAT?!"

"Do... do you want me to call Chopper?"

She stilled. Well that would just cause more drama wouldn't it? Chopper would reprimand Zoro, then Sanji will find out. The two will exchange blows. Then Luffy will find out and he'll probably chastise Zoro for hurting her.

It doesn't really need to blow out of proportion.

Especially since it was an accident.

Though accident or not… she will make Zoro pay for this.

"Nami? Hey, sorry alright?" Zoro said through the door. She can imagine him frustratingly scratching the back of his head.

She opened the door. And he visibly flinched.

"It really hurt Zoro," she mock-pouted and Zoro, as much as he wanted to point out that it was really her fault, bit his tongue. "Weren't you supposed to know who's lurking beside you or something?"

"You are the only one on the deck with me. I don't need to be that guarded… unless you are planning to stick a knife on me or something!"

"Well you still should've known it was me! That's what _hakis_ are for!"

Zoro growled an expletive under his breath.

He flicked a glance at her hand and sighed, muttering another apology.

Nami puffed her cheeks. Zoro was looking guilty enough to make them even.

But she wouldn't be Nami if she didn't try to one up him. Or squeeze favors. Or make him cringe and feel uncomfortable.

That's when she'd call it quits.

Then Zoro mistakenly and ignorantly put a nail in his coffin by saying, "Let me make it up to you alright?"

Nami instantly smiled, lifting the finger he had bitten so he can see the mark he left. She saw him grimaced and her smile turn evil.

"You better kiss the boo-boo away Zoro."

"…WHAT?!"

"It really hurts."

Zoro glowered at her. "No."

She pursed her lips. "Alright call Chopper. Let's let Luffy and Sanji-_kun_ and the others find out what you did."

"_Temee_…"

Nami shrugged. "Or we can forget borrowing money the next time you are broke and wants a barrel of whatever concoction you currently fancy."

"You evil witch!"

She grinned impishly and wiggled her finger, feigning a hurt look. "Ouch!"

Zoro look livid and she smiled in triumph.

Nothing beats getting his boxers in a twist.

He grabbed her hand and a laugh escaped her. She didn't mean that of course. She had teased him enough.

"Zoro I was just kid—"

And her words got stuck in her throat when he brought her finger to his lips...

… and kissed it.

"—ding..." The last syllable of her sentence came out in a sharp exhale of breath as she stared at him with eyes wide.

They held each other's gazes. Zoro still has his lips pressed on her finger while Nami was gaping at him.

Electricity raced up from the tip of her fingers, up to her arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

DAMN. IT.

"Aaw! Really now?"

Franky's voice boomed from somewhere above and Zoro and Nami stiffened. The shipwright was making his way down the stairs from the Sunny's helm with their newest member in tow.

"Sorry to intrude." Jinbe bowed down, a faint blush appearing on his cheek as he followed the cyborg.

Nami and Zoro remained where they are… motionless.

"Nah. Never mind that," Franky said with a dismissive wave of his hand as they crossed the lawn deck, probably on their way to the galley. "You'll get used to the weirdness in this ship soon enough."

* * *

_**–**__** The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_


	8. Housewarming Party

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot drabble.

**Rating: M **(Implied and not explicit)

**Note: **Drabble**. **AU. Just to try something new. Originally, I was planning to tackle one of the pending requests because they've been pending for so long. But I got side-tracked.

**Summary: **_This kind of house-warming party… beats the one she'd been planning to host in the coming weekend._

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**8 : Housewarming Party**

* * *

A satisfied sigh escaped her as her head lolled slightly to side, luscious pink lips pursed as she tried to catch her breath.

Her chest heaved up and down, slowly, as her body started to relax after such a tiresome activity.

She vaguely felt the mattress dipped as a body plopped down heavily beside her. She can hear his strained breaths… its rhythm matching her own still panting ones.

Nami let out a small, exhausted giggle; lifting her hand to playfully poke her companion's cheek.

"Stop that," Zoro grunted as he tiredly swatted her hand away.

"Why?" She asked in a breathy voice, frowning at his crabbiness. She gave his feet a light kick before rolling to her side and draping a leg over his. "Are you already spent?"

"_Hnn_…"

"Is this all Roronoa Zoro's capable of?"

Zoro sharply turned his head towards her. "Excuse me?"

She laughed at his affronted expression. "Now I know you have your limitations." She teasingly whispered against his lips as she wrapped an arm around his waist.

He just snorted in response, closing his eye and pillowing his hand behind his head.

Nami smirked as she watched him. She kicked the blanket carelessly strewn over them to her feet and moved to straddle him.

His eye flew open when he felt her weight on top of him.

"Nami!"

"Don't tell me I've already worn you out?" She grinned impishly, reaching up to twist her hair into a messy bun; giving him a nice, full view of her naked body. "And just when we finally made it into our new bed!"

They had started getting frisky while unpacking their things from the boxes in the living room after much playful teasing and bantering. It didn't take too long and they ended up rolling on the floor of their new place in a tangle of heated bodies and fervent kisses before taking into the couch then finally making their way into their new room.

And to be honest, this kind of housewarming party… beats the one she'd been planning to host in the coming weekend.

Zoro's hands immediately grabbed her hips and he managed to sneer up at her. "Of course not."

"Then why are you still lying down there Zoro?"

"Woman, don't you know what breather means?"

Nami chortled, one finger tracing his muscled chest, still glistening with sweat. "You need one? I've seen you do almost a thousand reps and it was not enough to drain the strength out of you."

She covered his body with her own.

"Yet you're finally drawing the line here?" She taunted with a peck on his chin.

"Fine!" He growled at her, the arm behind his head moved quickly around her to pin her body against his as he sat up abruptly.

"Whoa!" Nami squealed before laughing out loud, loving how easily she can rile him up when it comes to questioning his endurance. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself closer, planting a soft, appeasing kiss on his lips. "I'm only pulling your leg, babe."

His eye narrowed dangerously at the nickname.

She laughed again and brushed her lips against his.

Zoro's hand tangled along her orange locks, as he pushed her closer, unraveling the messy bun she made earlier. From the way he was kissing her back… it was enough to tell her that he didn't need any more convincing for another more round.

She was enjoying how their embrace was slowly turning passionate when he suddenly shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, feet planting down the floor with a thud.

"Zoro?" Nami drew back from him, surprised.

He stood up suddenly, easily lifting her up with him. His hands grabbed her at her ass, kneading it gently as she hooked her legs around his waist.

"Where are you going?" She raised an eyebrow as he headed towards the door.

"I need some water."

Nami pouted and ruffled his hair as he stepped out of the room. "You don't need to take me with you!" She complained as he made his way towards the kitchen, past the still half-unpacked boxes scattered here and there.

"Oh I do. Aren't you thirsty?"

"Not really."

He smirked. In a very naughty way, reserved for her eyes only.

"You will be after I'm through with you." He promised; the corner of his lips quirking up.

"We haven't tried the kitchen counter yet have we?"

* * *

– _**The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_


	9. Forty Winks

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **T

**Note: **Just a light drabble. A very light drabble. I just love the scene inside my head.

**Summary: **_Zoro's love for forty winks are definitely contagious._

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**# 9 : Forty Winks**

* * *

"Why do you always sleep like that?"

A nose bubble popped as Zoro jerked at the sound, dozily muttering a 'huh?' when he realized whose voice invaded his subconscious.

He blinked and blearily stared at the orange-haired woman standing in front of him, with arms akimbo.

Nami sighed wearily. Their swordsman _IS_ a bulky man. And it wasn't helping anyone when he's lying on the lawn deck like the useless buffoon that he is, spread eagle and without a care in the world.

"Why do you have to lay down sprawled like that?" She nudged one booted foot with her own. "Can't you situate yourself in some far corner of ship instead?"

Zoro was scratching his head as he sat up and yawned loudly as he ignored her complaint. Without another word he stood up from his position and moved towards the side of the ship. He unceremoniously dropped down—heavily—on the soft grass and leaned back against the railing, intent on catching his nap again.

Nami frowned. Ok… she had to give him points for actually for transferring without any snide remarks he usually likes to throw at her when she's bitching on him.

She gave his foot another nudge before he can drift off again.

"Your legs are still in the way Zoro!"

This time Zoro opened his eye to glare at her.

She prodded one of his still spread legs with her heeled foot. "We can't have Luffy or Chopper tripping on them and falling overboard!"

Zoro continued glaring at her before letting out a disgruntled noise. Nami folded her arms across her chest as she impatiently tapped her foot, waiting for him to yield.

Then he exhaled noisily (which sounded like his usual grumpy way of conceding to her). But instead of removing his legs out of the way, he lifted his arms and beckoned to her. "Come here."

Nami looked surprised at the invitation. "Huh?"

Zoro made a tsk-ing sound before giving her a curt nod, inviting her again to his open arms. "Come here," he repeated.

She pouted, looking reluctant at first as her eyes surveyed the deck and the ship. No one was loitering around since they were docked in the port and most likely, the majority of crew was probably frolicking around the town doing _Kami_-knows-what.

The navigator rolled her eyes as she acquiesced to his request and stepped between his legs. She sat down on the available space in front of him. "What now?" She asked with one eyebrow raised.

His arms automatically wrapped around her, pulling her closer to him in a somnolent yet soothing embrace.

She let a smile spread on her lips at his action.

A satisfied hum escaped her when he dipped his head down slightly to plant a kiss on her shoulder before leaning back on the railing again to doze off.

Nami completely forgot she was chastising him for his choice of sleeping spot and position earlier as she closed her eyes and she settled back against him to savor the feeling of being in his arms. He tucked her head under his chin mumbling about something she didn't catch.

She felt his breathing even out as he fell back asleep almost instantly. The slow rise and fall of his chest beneath her was so relaxing.

Surrounded by the calming presence and the scent and sound that was distinctly Zoro's, she felt her eyes grew heavy as sleep temptingly pulled her into its sweet, lulling embrace.

And she let it… did not even bother to fight it.

Zoro's love for forty winks are definitely contagious.

* * *

_**\- The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_


	10. Birthday Surprise

**Disclaimer:** One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

**Reminder:** I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

**Warning:** OOC possible. One shot scribble.

**Rating: **T

**Note: **BelatedHappy Birthday to our lovely Nami-_san_!

**Summary: **_"Happy birthday witch."_

* * *

**Points of No Return**

**# 10 : Birthday Surprise**

* * *

"Robin said you have something for me?"

Zoro automatically stiffened at the sound of her voice before swiftly pulling the bathroom door closed and turning around to look at her.

"What?"

Nami was a little surprised at his weird reaction.

"Robin said," she repeated. "And I quote her: 'Zoro said to meet him in the bathhouse late tonight. He has something for you'."

Zoro face surprisingly colored.

Nami raised one perfectly-shaped eyebrow at him.

Quite suspicious… hmmm.

"So?"

"So what?" Zoro grumbled, still not moving from the door.

"What do you have for me?" She prodded.

"Nothing."

The orange-haired girl peered at the bath behind her. She had seen him come out of it when she climbed the last steps of the ladder.

She surmised that he had probably taken a bath as he was shirtless and sword-less. But seeing how his hair was dry and with his boots on had her wondering otherwise.

"It's not good to lie to the birthday girl Zoro." She chastised, folding her arms across her chest.

She fought the amused smile that wanted to grace her lips when she he visibly looked… perturbed and the red color on his face deepened.

Something was up and Nami was determined to find out what it's all about.

"What do you have me Zoro?" She urged. "Come on spill."

An irritated expression appeared on the swordsman's face. He looked bothered and uneasy. Two states she never thought she'd see him in.

He ran a hand through his hair. "It's nothing ok? I have nothing."

Nami pursed her lips. She doubts if Robin was teasing her. Zoro was here in the bath house alright… just like the archaeologist said.

That means Zoro _have_ something for her. And he probably changed his mind about giving it to her at the last minute.

She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and nearly laughed when he looked visibly... distressed?

They stared each other down before she huffed.

"It better not be something kinky swordsman."

"What the hell do you mean?!"

Zoro growled when she pushed past him… shoving him aside as he was blocking the door, ignoring his disgruntled '_oi_'.

"Na-mi!" He hissed.

The navigator pinned him on the spot with a glare. Because he looked like he was going to haul her away right there and then.

Whatever it was that he was giving her, it was inside the bathhouse ...

Nami blinked when steam assaulted her vision the moment she opened the door.

She stared at the large bathtub and bit back a gasp of surprise as the steam thinned a bit enough to give her a clear view.

Behind her Zoro groaned in frustration.

She stepped inside and marveled at tub filled with floating flowers—which obviously came from the valley of the island where they had just docked.

She quietly sat on the edge of the tub and touched one floating bloom gently.

Good grief! Who would have known that her idiot lover would be capable of pulling something like this?

She looked back at him. He was scowling, obviously not pleased with his supposed surprise...

…and how he got probably roped into this idea by none other than their raven-haired friend.

"I see being broke leads you to being creative." She teased and laughed when the scowl on his face deepened.

"Don't expect me to be able to buy you anything when you have my money witch!" Zoro growled.

She chortled again. "It's called safekeeping Zoro! Or you'd buy the whole town's booze supply in a minute!"

"_Temee..._"

Nami picked up one random flower from the tub, bringing it up her nose to smell its fragrance. "Is this what you were lugging around in the sack earlier when you were with Robin?" She inquired with a sassy grin.

"…Yes." he grudgingly admitted.

She snickered and watched amusedly as his face flushed.

"So this is Robin's idea?"

Knowing Zoro, he was brain dead when it comes to things like these.

Zoro sighed and looked away. "No. I just asked for her help."

Her eyes widened at that. She stared at him, amazed that his was able to come up with something like this for her and a bit shocked that he actually asked for help from someone else just to make this day special.

"Thought you'd enjoy something relaxing to end the day…" He muttered, scratching his head.

Nami's smile was bright enough to light the whole room.

Honestly? It looks like she may have picked one of the best lovers out there… regardless of how moronic and battle crazy he is.

He might've been too embarrassed about it, as she recalled how fidgety he was earlier.

But he still did it. Even if he nearly changed his mind about giving her the surprise in the last minute.

Good thing Robin anticipated it and gave her the heads up.

Or all these would just go to waste.

This is the best birthday gift ever. It's not every day you get the future world greatest swordsman prepare a flower-filled bathtub for you, after all. And on his own volition… without any arm-twisting or black-mailing.

It goes to show that he, in fact, really cares for her.

Her heart soared.

"Thank you, Zoro. I love it."

Zoro looked startled and then he finally smirked.

She dropped the flower back on the water and slipped her legs inside the tub.

"Maybe next time you can fill this tub with _belis_…"

"In your dreams woman."

She laughed merrily. Then threw him a grin that clearly shows how she couldn't contain the happiness she was feeling right now.

Zoro smiled back.

"Happy birthday witch." He greeted before moving away from the door.

"Where are you going?"

The swordsman lifted a brow at her question.

"Down? So you can enjoy your birthday bath in peace?"

He didn't like the cheeky grin that appeared on her face. Birthday girl or not, he was done with any more favors for her for this day.

"You are not going anywhere, Zoro." Nami made a come hither signal with her finger. "I'm gonna need someone to wash my back for me while I relax."

* * *

– _**The End –**_

* * *

_**R and R please. **_


End file.
